My Regrets & New Resolution as A Blogger

My Regrets & New Resolution as A Blogger

 

Like most people during holidays, I have more time to think about what I have been doing.

The thing that catches my immediate attention is my blog—this blog.

So, I started contemplating why I started this blog and what I have been doing with it.

 

When I first started this blog last year, I just wanted to write something casual,

something unrelated to my work and something stress-free.

Thus, blogging was something I would do at a whim and I was a really lazy blogger,  

 

Also, making matters worse for such an idle blogger, I got burdened a lot of work earlier this year

so that I couldn’t even dream of putting more energy into my blog.

Yet, my effort didn’t pay off and I needed a new channel to focus on what I love, writing.

Thus, I wrote on my blog more frequently than ever before.  

 

With new passion toward my blogging, I was quite happy for a while,

even thinking I would be okay if nobody read my posts.

Yet, that was not true since I didn’t want another unrewarded effort.

Yes, I admit that I felt I was somewhat betrayed by the futile outcome at work.

 

Thus, I tried to find ways to promote my blog because I would certainly write a lot more often

if I got more visitors to my blog, which meant more people would read my posts.

I watched hundreds of YouTube clips and read hundreds of posts,

all of them recommending people to write a post a day for one hundred consecutive days to promote a blog.

I felt overwhelmed, but I managed to complete it.

Yet, my blog stayed almost the same as it used to be—not much increase in visitors.

 

What was wrong with my blog? Did all of the bloggers and YouTubers lie to me?

Faced with another disappointment, I quit blogging for a month and a half.

Sadly, my blog did well.

The number of daily visitors was decreased, but not much.

That even made me confused.

Should I really have to continue writing on my blog?

 

Then, a thought struck me. Yes, having many visitors to my blog really matters,

but is that the most significant reason for me to write my posts on my blog?

No, that was definitely not everything when it comes to my blogging.

What I really wanted was to write something, especially things about which I read, think and felt.

Also, though I had been fed up with writing after posting one hundred posts for one hundred consecutive days,

I did want to re-start writing on my blog when a month and a half passed since I had stopped blogging.

Unable to resist the desire to resume my blogging, I wrote a post a few days ago.  

 

However, there was something that bothered me.

I felt something totally missing.

I didn’t know what it was, but there was something deep down in my heart told me

that I had forgotten a really crucial factor regarding my blog.

That feeling made me continue thinking about blogging

from the start of holidays—not a good way to spend my holidays.

 

Luckily I finally found the missing piece—the very reason underneath my decision to start my blog.

Why and what made me long to write?

That was because I fundamentally love to read and write.

Yes, I do love reading and writing, but at a certain point I just focused on posting,

which let me focus on something easy to write, rather than making more efforts to read and think more.

Recognizing this, I understand my excessive frustration and disappointment regarding this blog.

I haven’t read enough to my own thoughts and voice so that I couldn’t make any progress

not only on writing but also on almost every aspect of my life, including this blog.

Thus, I determined to read at least 50 pages a day, including newspapers and magazines,

before writing a post.