SUEZO

My Regrets & New Resolution as A Blogger

Like most people during holidays, I have more time to think about what I have been doing.

The thing that catches my immediate attention is my blog—this blog.

So, I started contemplating why I started this blog and what I have been doing with it.

When I first started this blog last year, I just wanted to write something casual,

something unrelated to my work and something stress-free.

Thus, blogging was something I would do at a whim and I was a really lazy blogger,  

Also, making matters worse for such an idle blogger, I got burdened a lot of work earlier this year

so that I couldn’t even dream of putting more energy into my blog.

Yet, my effort didn’t pay off and I needed a new channel to focus on what I love, writing.

Thus, I wrote on my blog more frequently than ever before.  

With new passion toward my blogging, I was quite happy for a while,

even thinking I would be okay if nobody read my posts.

Yet, that was not true since I didn’t want another unrewarded effort.

Yes, I admit that I felt I was somewhat betrayed by the futile outcome at work.

Thus, I tried to find ways to promote my blog because I would certainly write a lot more often

if I got more visitors to my blog, which meant more people would read my posts.

I watched hundreds of YouTube clips and read hundreds of posts,

all of them recommending people to write a post a day for one hundred consecutive days to promote a blog.

I felt overwhelmed, but I managed to complete it.

Yet, my blog stayed almost the same as it used to be—not much increase in visitors.

What was wrong with my blog? Did all of the bloggers and YouTubers lie to me?

Faced with another disappointment, I quit blogging for a month and a half.

Sadly, my blog did well.

The number of daily visitors was decreased, but not much.

That even made me confused.

Should I really have to continue writing on my blog?

Then, a thought struck me. Yes, having many visitors to my blog really matters,

but is that the most significant reason for me to write my posts on my blog?

No, that was definitely not everything when it comes to my blogging.

What I really wanted was to write something, especially things about which I read, think and felt.

Also, though I had been fed up with writing after posting one hundred posts for one hundred consecutive days,

I did want to re-start writing on my blog when a month and a half passed since I had stopped blogging.

Unable to resist the desire to resume my blogging, I wrote a post a few days ago.  

However, there was something that bothered me.

I felt something totally missing.

I didn’t know what it was, but there was something deep down in my heart told me

that I had forgotten a really crucial factor regarding my blog.

That feeling made me continue thinking about blogging

from the start of holidays—not a good way to spend my holidays.

Luckily I finally found the missing piece—the very reason underneath my decision to start my blog.

Why and what made me long to write?

That was because I fundamentally love to read and write.

Yes, I do love reading and writing, but at a certain point I just focused on posting,

which let me focus on something easy to write, rather than making more efforts to read and think more.

Recognizing this, I understand my excessive frustration and disappointment regarding this blog.

I haven’t read enough to my own thoughts and voice so that I couldn’t make any progress

not only on writing but also on almost every aspect of my life, including this blog.

Thus, I determined to read at least 50 pages a day, including newspapers and magazines,

before writing a post.

I've been wondering about the best way to subscribe a weekly magazine for weeks. 

주간지를 구독하는 최적의 방법을 놓고 몇 주 째 고민중입니다.  

Should I choose print + digital subscription or just digital subscription? 
잡지책과 온라인 동시 구독을 해야할까요, 아니면 온라인 구독만 해야할까요?

Considering that I usually read on my iPad,

the answer seems straightforward: digital subscription. 
제가 최근에는 보통 아이패드로 글을 읽는다는 걸 감안하면,

대답은 간단해 보입니다: 온라인 구독이겠죠.

Yet, there is one thing that bothers me to go with that seemingly obvious answer. 
그러나, 그런 분명해보이는 대답대로 하기엔 뭔가 마음에 걸리는 게 있습니다. 

I've subscribed the New York Times for quite a long time, at least more  than 7 years now. 
저는 뉴욕 타임즈를 꽤 오래 구독해왔습니다, 적어도 7년은 넘었네요. 

I cannot say I've been always an avid reader,

but I could've kept on reading it thanks to the print subscription. 

항상 열심히 읽는 독자는 아니었지만

그래도 종이신문 구독 덕분에 계속 읽을 수 있었습니다.  

Oh, I also have online access to the paper

because it is added to the print subscription with no extra fee. 

물론 온라인으로도 볼 수 있죠

종이신문을 구독하면 무료로 온라인 이용이 제공되니까요. 

Clearly, being able to read the paper and search articles online  helps me greatly, 

but I do really wonder whether I read the paper that much

if not the presence of the actual printed paper.

물론 온라인으로 신문을 읽고 기사 검색을 할 수 있는 건 엄청나게 도움이 됐지만,

실제로 인쇄된 신문이 없었다면

제가 정말 그만큼을 읽었을까 하는 점이 의심스럽습니다. 

The  printed papers delivered give me a kind of obligation to read them.

배달되는 종이 산문은 저에게 신문을 읽어야 한다는 의무감을 줬어요. 

"Then," you would say, "Go ahead and get the print + digital subscription!"

"그러면 잡지책과 온라인 동시구독을 해버려!" 라고 말씀하실텐데요.  

There's one problem getting that: it's really expensive

as it's more than double the price of digital subscription. 
그걸 하기앤 문재가 있는게 너무 비싸요.

온라인 구독의 두 배가 넘네요. 

Anyone would say, "Pick one if you really mean to read that magazine any way!" 
"정말 읽을거면 둘 중에 하나를 골라,"라고 다들 말씀 하시갰죠. 

I'm really determined to read it, but I have an excellent excuse for my hesitation. 

진짜로 읽기로 결정했습니다, 하지만 제 우유부단함에 대한 아주 좋은 핑계가 있죠. 

I am waiting for the delivery of my renewed credit card

and I will pay for the magazine subscription with it. 
저는 지금 갱신된 새 신용카드가 오길 기다리고 있고요

그걸로 잡지 구독료를 낼 겁니다.  

Thus, for the time being, I might keep thinking which is the best subscription for me.

그러다 보니, 저는 아마도 당분간 어떤게 저한테 좋은 구독인지를 계속 고민할 것 같네요.